8 Flirty Conversation For The Pros

Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential part of human interaction. Anthological research shows that flirting is to be found in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.

Flirting is a basic instinct part of human nature: this is not surprising that if we did not initiate contacts and express interest in members of the opposite sex, we would not progress to reproduction and the human species would become extinct.

Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great deal of stress in your closest relationship. Unfortunately, we are more likely to communicate ineffectively with our partner especially just at the time when most we need to get our point across. In fact, communication itself is often a major source of difficulty. When we feel pressure we may not keep our partner up to date. Often, we fail to listen properly because we are preoccupied. But effectively communicating our ideas and feelings can prevent unnecessary misunderstanding and tensions. It is a good idea to try open up channels of communication as much as possible. You might need to look actively for time to talk with your partner, such as during car trips or washing dishes.

Effective communication becomes even more crucial during high stress time such as holidays. Little things can seem much bigger on important days which come with high expectations.

Make a conscious effort to study the following (8) basic communication skills and some extra tips to get the person you desire on the roll.

• Talk about what you know

Our words betray our knowledge. There is a well known saying "put your brain into gear before opening your mouth" and all of us, at some time, have wished we'd done exactly that. If only we could limit ourselves and make conversation only on subject we know something about we would be much safer but that is not always possible.

If you don't know about a conversation subject, listen and learn, and if asked an opinion preface it with "this is something I know little about..." Then find an honest opinion. We all have our limitations and you would be respected for your honesty. That doesn't mean we can't add to what we know or that our opinions are invalid and by listening we would be able to make conversation on the same topic another time.

When trying to understand how to make conversation remember that others respect truth and honesty not bluff and pretense.

• Listen
  

Learn how to make conversation by actively listening to other people and by concentrating on what they say and how they say it. It doesn't necessarily matter who or where they are. Even if you disagree with their opinions, listening to others helps you form your opinions and it provides insight as you learn how to make conversation.

Try to see how others communicate. A conversation is more than just words. As others make conversation watch their body language and listen to the variation in the pitch of their voices. Listening is very important but if all you see is listening to the words you will miss most of what they are communicating .

Learning how to make conversation is about seeing and understanding body language and as well listening.

• Humility

As we make conversation we all make mistakes and sometimes we mispronounce our words, Stutter or even slur words. If you realised you've made a mistake ask if you pronounced it correctly or ask if you used the word in the right context. People accept honest mistakes, however if you are always using long words just to show off they will quickly lost interest.

In understanding how to make conversation remember your audience is more forgiving than you are, don't be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes.

• Make eye contact with your audience

When listening and speaking use eye contact to maintain a connection with your audience. It doesn't matter if you have an audience of one or one hundred, maintaining eye contact keeps in the conversation. But don't lock eyes and stare.

If you are in conversation with just one person allow them a break. Staring continuously at them will make them uncomfortable so look around regularly but don't talk to your shoes or talk while facing away from them. If you are talking to a larger group exchange looks with different members of your audience while talking. Don't spent too long looking at one person and don't ignore others. As you understand how to make conversation remember eye contact keeps your audience with you.

• Smile and inject a little humour

As you make conversation smile and inject little humour into the conversation. When done well it can lift the tension, or recaptures those whose thought have drifted away. You will retain the attention of the majority of the group or audience and they will feel more comfortable.

Unless you are a stand up comedian don't crack jokes as more often than not they will have heard before and aren't that funny. It is much better to talk humorous stories based on your experiences but don't laugh hysterically at your own stories. Allow others to appreciate them without being embarrassed at your own behavior.

In understanding how to make conversation don't forget humour and a smile can capture an audience.

• Get involved in social group

Join groups when the need to make conversation is inevitable. Whether that's a nice schools drama course, a course to improve your public speaking, salsa lessons or a group or society related to a hobby or your work. Get out there and talk to lots of different people. Listen to them, and you will get a lot's of ideas as well as clues on how they make conversation.

• Me, Myself, and I

Admit it there are times you speak to yourself in the shower or the bath and you think of yourself as the next Barrack Obama. Leave those dreams and opinions in the bathroom! Similarly as you make conversation don't inflate your own ego by continually talking about yourself.

If you do your audience will switch off and you will soon find yourself talking to yourself. Involve others, by asking their opinion and give them a chance to talk. Don't belittle their opinions, give others the respect you will like others to give to you.

In learning about how to make conversation don't forget that you are not the most important person there, your audience is, so don't spent the evening talking about yourself.

• Practice, practice, practice

If you are going somewhere important, where conversations are inevitable, and you feel uncomfortable then preparation is essential. Think of a few anecdotes and stories and write them out before you go. Think of the questions you would like to ask others. Write them down and then write out your answers to the same questions. Now if you are asked you can deliver a more relaxed answer.

Any questions you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable answering, cross off your list and don't ask. If you are embarrassed your audience probably will be too. Organise the remaining questions and answers and re-write them. Then leave them at home. The process of asking and answering the questions should be enough preparation.

Until you fully understand how to make conversation and become comfortable with it then practising at home before you go out is ok. It will help you relax and make conversations easier.

Knowing how to make conversation and being confident in the company of others is difficult for many people. Few excel at it and majority just about cope. As with anything else being confident is all about knowledge and experience.

If you feel uncomfortable it simply means you are outside your comfort zone and you need more practice. Follow these simple idea and, over time, you will gain eloquence and be able to make conversation, you will relax and become comfortable in the company of others.

The other tips on how to make good flirty conversation with your partner includes

• Avoid long talk
  

• Disclose fact
  

• Share view points and opinions
  

• Share personal feelings
  

Avoid long talk

When you meet someone for the first time, the safer place to start is to talk about surface issues. For instance make a comment about the whether, current event or the surrounding you are in while you are speaking. This is called "small talk", and is used to "size up" the other person, and to determine the comfort zone between the two of you. There is no need to disclose any personal information with the other person at this stage, as this initial interaction assists you to determine how "safe" they are on your first meeting.

If you are complex engaging in others at a surface level, you can easily slip into the next level of communication.

Disclose facts

This level of communication is slightly dear in that, you disclose facts about yourself without triggering topics of emotional interest.

The purpose of fact disclosure is to find out if you have something in common. You can use this common area to build a bridge of friendship later on. You may want to talk about your career or occupation, hobbies, where you live, etc.

Avoid topics like politics, sex or marriage in the second level of communication. With a little creative thinking, and the use of open-ended questions, you should easily find a topic that interests you both.

If you find a topic of mutual interest, then you may choose to progress to the next level of communication.

Share viewpoints and opinions

Once you have established that the other person is "safe" through small talk, and the two of you have found common interest, you can build rapport by sharing your opinions and viewpoints.

by sharing your viewpoints and opinions you allow yourself to become vulnerable to the scrutiny and objections of the others. So you would only enter this level of communication once you were comfortable that you both share feelings through the first two levels.

Some people give opinion about politics as their starting point at this level. But you may prefer to start by commenting on the things you have in common - the things that you found through fact disclosure. This is usually a safe place to start.

Be prepare to listen to the opinion of your new friend it is just as important to listen to their view point as it is that they listen to yours. This tempered, accepting exchange will enable your friendship to survive and perhaps, move forward.

Make sure you don't use your opinions as a form of "character assassination" of other people. You may be thought of as a negative person and this may cause your new friend to put distance between the two of you.

Over time you will learn to find a safe distance in your communication levels, and if you are forming a genuine bound of friendship, you may eventually enter into fourth level of communication.

Sharing personal feelings

Only solid friendships survive time to enter the fourth level of communication. A building upon trust, finding things in common and listening to the view points and opinion of others, you may be able to safely share your personal feelings.

This is where acquaintance becomes a genuine friend. You know that despite having differing opinions and viewpoints you can trust your friend's judgement and that you may even go to them for advice.

At this level things of deep values to you can be shared without feeling threatened. You listen closely to each other without the need to "solve" your Friend's problem. You are happy to reflect their feelings back to them - forming a bound of empathy and compassion between the two of you.

At this level of communication it is important that you provide a little distance between yourself and your friend. If the distinction between yourself and you friend becomes unrecognizable, it is possible for your friendship to go sour.

If you know how to handle your feelings, attitude and behavior while maintaining your friendship at this level, you will build a successful friendship that can last a lifetime.

By adding these four extra tips on dating and communication, and while on dates,you will find that they will become interested in you, and want to get to know you all the more.