What Your First Date Should Look Like
The dating stage is the essential comfort-building stage in the courtship process. It’s where your “game” comes into play. Your goal should be to give her such a great experience dating you she
goes and tells her friends: “There’s something about him I can’t explain it I’ve never felt like this before in my life.”
Keep in mind that when a woman agrees to go on a date with you, it means she already sees you as an option. You’re a potential lover. so don’t blow it! The first rule of the first date is to NOT plan anything extravagant and instead keep things simple and straightforward.
Here are a few things you should NOT do on the first date: Don’t take her to a dinner, coffee, or similar situation where you
just talk and do nothing else. I call this the “sales pitch” date, and it’s as boring as it sounds.
Don’t take her to a concert or a movie. In some ways, these can be worse than “sales pitch” dates because you can’t even talk it’s too
loud. Don’t take her on a lunch date that’s a straight path to the friend-zone. Instead, your goal is to give her a date experience that has two elements:
1. It gives her the opportunity to see you as a confident guy;
2. And it’s a shared experience like you were “partners in crime.”
You’ll want to create a “you and me against the world” kind of vibe with her. So, here’s what you should do instead: Plan dates that involve activities especially activities that give her a rush of emotions, both good and bad. Because in the end, she won’t remember the things you did together. She’ll only remember how she felt when she was with you. Good ideas for first dates include: If she loves cute animals, make the petting zoo one of your stops.
She’ll associate the urge to hug everything with you. If she’s intellectual, make a stop at the museum. The sculptures, paintings, and dinosaur bones will trigger a sense of awe and wonder
in her. which she’ll then link with you. Or Take a trip to the book store.
If she needs a break, take her to a comedy show. She’ll associate the laughter and good feelings with you.
Go for a walk in a beautiful park in your city.
The main thing is to be creative and take the lead. You must have a plan for the date, but also be flexible enough to change things on the fly.
Now, just in case the date goes badly at any point such as if she gets hurt or upset by something you said, or she feels offended by you holding doors for her don’t panic.
In fact, don’t apologize for being you, and don’t go out of your way to make her feel better. Instead, tell her: “You know what, I thought I liked you, and I thought we had a good vibe but maybe we should just end this date.” And if she doesn’t budge, thank her for her time and end the date then move on with your life.
That’s how it should be.
Now let’s talk about what to do when the date does go well.
How to Keep The Date Interesting When it comes to having conversations with her during a date, the rule is 30/70. That is, you should do only 30% of the talking maximum while she talks at least twice as much as you do. Why? Because the goal is to make her feel an emotional connection to you.
And the more a woman talks to you, telling you about herself and trying to win your approval, the stronger the emotional connection she feels towards you. So, ask her questions, and let her answer. Your questions should help you
uncover things you have in common with her, which will only enrich the conversation and deepen the connection.
Here are examples of good questions to ask:
“If money weren’t an issue, what would you do with your life?”
“Tell me a fun secret about you.”
“Give me three good qualities, besides your looks, that you’re most proud of.” Meanwhile, you’ll also want to call her out when she says something silly or obviously false. Tease her about it, but accept her for who she is. This creates the feeling of trust and safety she knows she can’t fool you, but she can “let her hair down” with you, too.
Also, be polite with other people you interact with during the date baristas, waiters, hosts, guides, and so on. It tells her you’re a guy who has his life in order and doesn’t need to “push people around” to feel significant. Should You Compliment Her? The answer is “yes,” only if it’s a genuine compliment and gift from your heart but you’ll want to keep your compliments to a minimum. Also, my rule is to only compliment a woman if my compliment is genuine. I don’t agree with flattery it gets you nowhere. If you do compliment her, be sure your compliment encourages the role you want her to play in your life.
For instance, if you want her to be your confidant in life, tell her she’s a “great communicator.”
Or if you think she has a great body and would like to see her stay in shape, give her compliments like: “Your outfit really compliments your figure.”
Or if you enjoy the fact that she is easy to get along with and would like to see more of that in her, tell her: “I really have enjoyed spending time with you. You’re really fun to be with.” You get the idea.
What NEVER to talk about
When you’re doing the talking, here are a few
things to NEVER bring up Never talk about how much money you make, your cars, your
looks, your clothes, your watch, etc or anything else to try to impress her. This is approval-seeking, and it tells women you’re insecure.
Never talk about “your future together.” In fact, don’t even talk about the second date during the first date. This tells her you’re a needy guy who doesn’t really see many women.
Never talk about your exes, unless you’re telling a funny story or talking about them in a positive way. Any less than that, and it makes you look like a “bitter ex-boyfriend” someone she does NOT want to be involved with.
About kissing
The great Coach Corey Wayne said about dates!
A date is a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.” Emphasis added by me. Ideally, your dates will go so well that it’s only inevitable for sex to happen. And when a date goes so well, the next step on the road to sex is to kiss her.
(Duh, right?) Now here’s the thing: You should only ever kiss a woman for the first time if
you’re SURE she’s into you. Signs she’s into you include touching you, bumping you, grabbing your arm and pressing it against her breasts, etc.
She’s also thinking about kissing you if her eyes keep moving from your
eyes to your lips. She likes you. Now it’s time to move in for the kiss.
Here are a couple ways to escalate onto kissing:
1. After she bumps you or touches you sensually, say “My turn,” and
smell her neck. If she lets you do it, it means she’s ready to kiss you.
2. Ask her: “On a scale of 1-10, how good of a kisser are you?” If she gives herself a high score, tell her: “I’ll be the judge of that,” and move
in for the kiss; If she gives herself a low score, joke about it: “Why? Do you need a tic-tac first?”; And if she tells you she’s not going to kiss you, tell her: “Well, I never said you could ” If she firmly declines to kiss you for any reason, don’t get upset.
Like everything else, it’s no big deal. Enjoy the rest of the date, thank her for her time, and then move on to other women. The rule remains: you MUST go for the kiss at end of date. If she turns her face so you can kiss her cheek, it means she has no romantic feelings for you. Again, don’t take it personally thank her for her time and move on with your life.
It should go without saying, but you should NEVER kiss her on the cheek first. If you do, it’s a clear lack of self-confidence on your part. If you want her, go for her. Have no apologies for pursuing what you want. But what if she DOES let you kiss her on the mouth at the end of the date?
Unless she pulls you into her apartment and starts taking your clothes off, it’s best to simply tell her: “I had a great time. Good night,” and take your leave.
That’s it. Don’t promise to call, don’t ask for another date, etc. Why not? Because most women don’t feel comfortable with the idea of sex.
On the date
At the same time, they don’t feel comfortable going on a second date with a guy who’s OBVIOUSLY after them which is the message you send across when you promise to call or ask for a second date. So you do neither. You tell her you had a great time and go your own way. Leave her wondering about your true intentions. Leave her thinking about you. That being said, let me now talk about Scoring on the First Date Again, it’s never a guarantee you’ll have sex with a woman after your first date with her. But you CAN do a few things to increase your chances of doing
so. Here are a few of them.
1: take her to at least three locations on first date
Remember, it takes about 4-10 hours of comfort-building before she feels comfortable enough to consider sleeping with you. That’s about three dates.
But if you take her to at least three locations during your date, it can register in her mind as going on 3+ dates with you and so the levels of
comfort and attraction she feels skyrocket, even if she’s only going out with you for the first time.
2: start the date at home
Tell her to meet you at your place. Then let
her in for a few minutes, telling her: “I left something in the bedroom,” or “I just need a minute to wrap something up.” Then, after a few minutes, you take her out and start the date.
This lets her become familiar with your place earlier, so she’s more likely to come back to it after the date when you invite her.
3:Invite her to your place
When she’s clearlyinterested in you (she’s bumping and grinding on you), immediately invite her to your place for some drinks, or a movie, etc. (You’ll get a clue of what she likes during your conversations.) This gives her plausible deniability or simply an excuse for herself to go back to your place. It’s easier for her to do so when she has other reasons besides sex to go back with you, because after that she could tell herself “it just happened,” or “it was his idea.”
And then, once you’re alone.
4: go for the kiss soon
You could take a minute to pour a couple of
drinks in your kitchen, or turn on some music in your living room, etc but do kiss her soon after you lock the door behind you. After you make out for a few moments, take her by the hand and lead her into your bedroom. What next? That’s for the next Chapter. What If She Kisses You, But Will not Sleep With You?
This is actually the most common outcome you’ll probably get, and that’s fine. Remember it may take at least three dates before she gives in to her
feelings. Until then, continue the mystery don’t call her within 48 hours after the date.
Sure, you SHOULD set up the next date. Sure, you should date her once a week. But while it’s you who’s initiating contact with her, wait 2-3 days after each date before contacting her to setup the next date.
If your dates are really good, she’ll start wanting to see you more than once a week and so she starts initiating contact with you. When she does, keep your interactions short; 3-5 text messages back-and- forth tops, or 10 minutes max on the phone. Chitchat for a while, then tell her:
“It’s great to hear from you again. I need to go right now though. When are you free? I’d love to meet up later this week.”
Again, it’s important to have more important things in your life than women. Remember, women should never be your #1 priority in life. You need a mission that’s even bigger than women, dating, and sex. Now, what if she gets mad because you won’t chat with her longer? Be
playful, teasing, and charming. Tell her: “You know I miss you. I’ve just been really busy, as always. And I don’t know– maybe I like it when you miss me too.”
Once in a while, send her a text to let her know you’re thinking about her. But for the most part, she should be chasing you, and never the other way around. Once she does start chasing you, then it’s okay to date her several times a
week as often as she wants and as your schedule allows. Ultimately, she’ll ask the question: “So what are we?” It’s up to you you can start a real relationship with her now, or tell her you want to wait just a bit longer.
Comments
Post a Comment